I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
