I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
