i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
