there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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