I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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