need another drink. this is the easiest way
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
