I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize