I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
