yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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