ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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