Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize