I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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