her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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