We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
