Sober January is a disaster.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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