this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
