omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
