Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
