he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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