But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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