Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
