Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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