i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
