plz talk dirty to me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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