Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
