so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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