My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
