I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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