oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
