i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
