I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
