i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
