he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
