i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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