Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I fill condoms, not promises.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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