New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I just shit out all my problems.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
