Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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