There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
