Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You may now shotgun with the bride
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
