can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize