She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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