Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
