think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
