i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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