OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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