the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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