i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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