he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
