As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
