I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
