I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
