Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
