Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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