i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
