Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
