UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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