How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
