Don't make out with my wife yet
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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