So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize