the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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