I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize