he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize